He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize