Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
