After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Randomize
