walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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