What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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