its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
dude i'm inner monologue high
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
you're hired as official boob wrangler
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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