One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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