if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
