Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
