He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Randomize
