Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Randomize
