that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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