New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
