playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
