And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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