I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Can't talk, ducks in the car
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
