What did we do last night that was yellow?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
