Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
