You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
