After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
