My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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