I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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