Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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