I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
