So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
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