i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Randomize
