You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
