make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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