We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
