She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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