Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
