I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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