Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
How does one acquire holy water?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
