On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
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