Acid is not a monday night drug
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
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