i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize