i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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