wakey wakey hands off snakey
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Boobs speak an international language.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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