He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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