So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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