I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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