He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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