that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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