i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize