I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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