My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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