I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
