she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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