So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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