please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
