I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
