Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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