Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
