I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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