I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
