it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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