This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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