smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize