Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
