Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
