I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
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