Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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