using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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