You're a womanizer and a bitch.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
