is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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