ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
He felt like a one man threesome
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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