he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
