Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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