Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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