I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
