I think i sorta joined a cult last night
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
