Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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