as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I just googled if crying burns calories
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
