My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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