We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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