operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
