Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
