I'm pants shitting drunk right now
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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