did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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