i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
