how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
