guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize