you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
