She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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