I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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