I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I think weed is turning my hair brown
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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