I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
