Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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